The Ashley Madison Hack: is CAM4 a Safe Alternative?
We wanted to see what all this hype was sorrounding the Ashley Madison hack, and instead of being concerned about email addresses, we found what cheats were looking for from an affair. The most popular search terms were actually related to threesomes and fetishes, namely S&M. So if cheats are looking to explore sexual fantasies then why can’t they do that with their partners? Certainly if you want to try a threesome or some role play you can propose the idea to your partner. It’s true that maybe they have and were unsuccessful. Or maybe they are in a marriage that they no longer want to be in. But if they are still in love and want to keep the marriage then why haven’t they tried exploring fantasies? Getting stuck in a sexual rut is not fun so we need to have a talk about how to get out of it.
Before turning to others to fulfill your sexual needs talk about it with your partner. We know its not easy revealing your sexual fantasies and requires a level of safety and intimacy with your partner. You can create this. First off, consider what you actually want to try. Think about specifics, do you want to play out the whole fantasy or only certain aspects? What role exactly do you want to take and your partner to take? Be clear and open with yourself before devulging.
Now you know what to say, pick an appropriate time and place. This is important because in order for you to be fully honest you need a safe space. For example, how communicative do you think he/she will be while making dinner? With children running around? In the car on the way out? Not ideal. Get full undivided attention.
Ok so you’ve got their attention, time to break the ice. Bringing up the topic might be taboo and some negative myths still exist about more playful sex. Best way to do this is reafirm your partner’s sexual abilities. Besides, you’re never going to feel comfortable if they are feeling inadequate. Then mention ways to spice it up. Now you can start to share your thoughts and feelings. Make it a discussion. You’re not the only one with sexual fantasies / ideas so open up the floor. Listen without judgement, even if it is something way out of your comfort zone. Also think about the symbolism behind the fantasy. Not all fantasies are literal. If it’s something you’re not sure you want to try, keep the theme and scale it down to a level you feel confident with.
Compromise is crucial for both parties to enjoy, not just one. Remember, sex should be a win/win situation. It’s not fair to impose one partner’s fantasy on the other so be inclusive and kind. At this point you’ve got all your cards on the table, no secrets. This is the most vulnerable but also empowering moment. Good time to discuss rules and boundaries. Agree to whom you will/won’t share your fantasies to, not laughing at each other and possibly a safe word. Once you have all the props you’re ready to have fun!
Not that you need some ideas but here are some hot role plays : Naughty nurse and doctor, model and photographer, police officer and criminal, stripper and client. *p.s these are so easy to make into S&M scenerios
If you’re in a bind, CAM4 is a much less risky alternative to Ashley Madison. You can do it solo or with your partner (if they are comfortable with it), and you don’t need an account to just watch. There is lots of fun to be had with the camily <3
