How to Talk Kinky: The CAM4 Kink-tionary
Talk the talk first, then you can easily walk the walk. Here’s a lesson in kink – keep this post handy or take notes .You might need them next weekend ;) Here’s our beginner’s guide to kink, a place to get started and ease yourself into this new world. Enjoy!
Kink: A general term that includes everything from fetish and fantasy to role play, games, kinky sex, BDSM, sadomasochism and dominance and submission. If you happen to hook up with someone who tells you they’re into ‘Kink’ it’s worth asking them to elaborate.
BDSM: This is an abbreviation for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. BDSM usually involves the consensual use of constraint (ropes, straps, handcuffs, etc.), sensory stimulation, and power play. If you’ve never tried it before, we recommend it. It can be a pretty intense experience!
Dominant: This is the person who takes the ‘power’ role in kink play. Men are referred to as Dom, while females are known as Dominatrix, Femdomme or Domme. The Dom/Domme might take on the role of disciplinarian, teacher, abductor, owner or whatever else floats their kinky boat while the other person in the power play is the submissive. In a ‘scene’ (seriously someone needs to write a kink play!) the Dominant is the person in charge and is therefore known as the Top, while the sub is known as the Bottom and has things done to them. Still with us? Good – pop quiz later ☺
A switch: This is someone who gets a kick out of playing both roles and is happy to switch around in the scene. Anyone who is knew to the Kink World usually tries switching for a while until they discover where their natural talents lie, so to speak.
A scene: As you’ll probably have figured out this is the space where people let their kinky imaginations run wild and act out their fantasies. Play is also another term commonly used in BDSM. If you’re someone’s Dom or Sub you might be referred to as their ‘play partner’.
Limits: Before the whips, chains and handcuffs come out, establish what your limits are. Your Dom/Domme might really get off on the idea of being a slave owner and having you as their slave, but at no point should you ever feel degraded. It’s not at all what role play is about. If you start to feel shit about what’s going on use that safe word!
Safeword: It’s common in BDSM for people to use a pre-agreed safe word that let’s the other person know when to stop. Lots of Kinksters use ‘yellow’ and ‘red’ for obvious reasons. If this doesn’t work for you, as we mentioned in a previous blog, there’s always the good old fashioned stop!
Consent: Consent means explicit, informed verbal approval. Consent means a confident and secure YES! to what is about to happen between play partners. Consent is the bedrock of kink and the most significant element of healthy sexual relationships. Consent is the difference between kink and abuse.
