How to Have a Successful Threesome
You’ve been with your partner for a while. You love each other, you trust each other and you feel secure together. The only blot on an otherwise perfect relationship is the fact that one of you fancies a threesome while the other one is reluctant. How do you find a solution that works for everyone? If you decide to hit the hay with a third person, how do you avoid a major head fuck afterwards? Here are some top tips and thoughts from people who have been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale.
What are the benefits of having a threesome?
There’s the simple fact that lots of people find it a huge turn on. The fact that it’s not something you necessarily do every day and is a little bit risqué can lead to a red hot experience for all parties. Sensations are heightened when you find yourself in a brand new sexual space with your partner. Lots of people love seeing their partner getting fucked or fucking someone else. It’s new, it’s exciting and it can be the ultimate fantasy.
It also takes you out of your comfort zone: a great way to learn new things and discover new techniques ;) This can be particularly helpful if you’ve fallen into a bit of a sexual rut. It’s a bit like brainstorming – the more people throwing ideas out, the better the results!
Thirdly, it’s a great way to explore any desires or curiosities you have for the same sex.
Keep in mind, there are some common hiccups that arise from a threesome. A lot people say that the idea was better in theory than in practice. When it came to the moment, they found the experience uncomfortable. It takes a secure person to feel happy with the fact that their partner is doing things to another person that once were reserved for only you. Even with boundaries, we all know how easy it is to get carried away in the heat of the moment. So the no fucking, only kissing rule can quickly go out the window – particularly if you’ve all had a few drinks beforehand.
Then there’s the issue of body insecurity. Most people have soft spots in their confidence, make sure you’re communicative and supportive with all parties before, during, and after. Lots of love, appreciation, and affection to your partner will go a long, long way.
Is it possible to enjoy a threesome unscathed? The answer is, it depends on the people involved. But, there are ways you can make it happen!
Make it a mutual decision, you must both feel 100% sure that it’s something you want to do. If one person even has the smallest doubt then the advice is – just don’t do it. It’s not worth potentially damaging you relationship, so talk about it a lot beforehand and make the decision together.
Again, appreciation and affection! Make sure your partner doesn’t feel like the third wheel, but make the third person feel appreciated. It’s a balancing act ;)
Who plays the guest star? From experience, it’s better to chose a stranger rather than a friend. If it goes wrong, at least you never have to see the person again. If you decide to choose a friend, you risk a friendship as well as your relationship. Consider going to club where lots of other people are there for the same reason, or better still a club that has certain rules or ‘etiquette’ for threesome play. They do exist and far from being seedy can actually be great fun where you’ll meet other like-minded people.
Finally, whatever you do stay safe. Don’t take risks with your sexual health. Always use condoms and leave nothing to chance. At the end of the day just ain’t worth it.
And there you go, another sexual feat can be conquered! Read our previous advice on anal sex.
